Everything is going well

My sister mentioned that I hadn't blogged in awhile and the last blog that I made was somewhat negative. Everything is going well at the moment, and nothing really new has happened recently, so I haven't been on as often.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'll blog a little after that. Rob and I have been going to our Bradley classes for three weeks now. I have a lot of questions that I am going to ask at the appointment because of what we've learned at the classes.

We also have two hospital visits scheduled this month. We will be visiting Northside Hospital on May 15th. We will be visiting Emory Eastside Hospital on May 27th. We also have a childbirth class scheduled through Northside on May 22nd. From what I understand, those types of classes are more geared toward telling you how to follow the hospital policies, and don't really help in understanding how to best labor and deliver like the Bradley classes do.

One interesting thing that has happened recently is that I currently have a numb spot on my upper abdomen. It is right below my breasts and at the top of where my belly starts to stick out. Sometimes I can feel sort of a dull, achy pain there, but most of the time (for the past week) it has just been numb. I can pinch it or poke it and can't really feel anything. I've asked a lot of people who have been pregnant if they ever experienced that, and none of them have. I'm thinking that it may be related to my scoliosis. I'll be asking the doctor/midwife about it at the appointment tomorrow.

Emotional Roller Coaster

Wow. I guess I thought that since I didn't have a whole lot of mood swings during the first trimester, it wouldn't get any worse. But this week has been a total emotional roller coaster.

Tuesday I posted about how depressed I was getting because of the fact that I had a horrible run and was feeling fat.

Yesterday, I woke up and ran 3 miles, and it was awesome! I didn't feel tired. I didn't have to stop to use the bathroom. When I was done, I barely felt like I had run at all. I could have probably run another 3 miles, if I had time.

All day yesterday, partially because of the great run, I felt fabulous. I had a good day at work. I was in a great mood. I was productive and crossed a lot of things off my to-do list when I got home from work. It was great! Until dinner...

I have this thing about having dinner at the dinner table with the family. It's just a good, family time to slow down and enjoy each other's company, in this world of busyness, distractions, and speed. We don't have a "family" really yet, but with the baby on the way, it just seems like something that would be good for our new family to do.

Apparently, Rob was not brought up this way. He wanted to eat in the living room in front of the TV so he could watch Scrubs. He brought our plates to the living room and told me that I haven't made a good argument for eating dinner at the dinner table. He said that he didn't like having to stop his life just to eat dinner in a secluded place and that it wouldn't always work anyway because the kid would have band practice and baseball games and other things that would keep us from all being together at dinner time anyway.

I pretty much flipped out, started crying, and told him I hated him. Then in my mind I kept thinking, "why did I marry this guy?" and "do I really want to have a kid with him?" I grabbed my plate out of the living room and carried it to the table and told him to eat his dinner in front of the TV with his stupid show, and I would eat in the breakfast room by myself.

He calmed me down, and said that he wanted to sit with me and eventually brought his plate to the table also. But he sat there looking miserable and eating his food and not saying much.

So the issue is not resolved, and I'm sure it will come up again.

Come on! Show me one study that says that it's not good for a family to eat dinner together. Show me one study that says that eating dinner in front of the TV will help your family relationships and build a better family. Seriously! What's wrong with stopping what you're doing and eating together? Isn't life busy enough as it is?? Do we really need distractions during dinner time too?

I hate my pregnant body

I really shouldn't complain. I have had an extremely easy pregnancy. I have had no morning sickness and limited emotional outbursts. Most pregnant women who knew how easy it is for me would kill to have it as easy.

But I really hate my body right now.

I've always had somewhat of a low self-image when it comes to my body. I've thought I was too fat (or worried about becoming fat), or my cellulite was too ugly, or that pimple that appeared is the only thing that people see when they look at me, or various other downers when it came to my appearance.

I had really just started to like my body and where I was right before becoming pregnant. I was at my ideal weight and was able to run a sub-4 hr marathon the day before my LMP.

Now, I look in the mirror before getting into the shower and say, "Where did that enormous cow come from?" I go to wash my hands and think "Who is that whale staring back at me?"

Am I ever going to get back to that point I was before I got pregnant? That point where I actually like my body? That point where I want to get out and run 7-10 miles in the middle of the week and 20 miles on the weekend.

My sister had three kids, and she looks amazing. Liz Nauert has had five (I think) and looks great. But I know many more people who have had kids and never lost the weight than those that have.

And I'm not nearly as big yet as I will be by the end of this journey. I'm only just beginning to look pregnant.

The worst thing about it is that my motivation to run has completely gone down the drain. I only run now because I feel like the baby needs it. And sometimes, I'm downright miserable when I'm running. That never happened before.

This is just depressing.

First Bradley Class

We had our first Bradley method class on Friday evening. During this class, we learned the prenatal exercises that we should be doing, including pelvic rocks, squats, Kegals, and butterflies. We had a short anatomy lesson to see where some of the organs are in relation to each other. The teacher, Sallie, had two models - one of a pelvis (along with a doll so she can demonstrate how the baby comes out) and one of the entire female pelvic area (so she can show were the bladder, uterus, etc is). We also learned some relaxation techniques at the end of the class, primarily focused on deep, regular abdominal breathing.

I already knew most of what was taught in this class. Some of it was rather basic, but the rest I learned while reading the book Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way prior to class. I've been trying to read up and learn as much as I can about the labor and delivery process. I'm currently reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

We are also supposed to be tracking our protein intake this week. We are supposed to get between 70 and 100 grams of protein a day. Saturday I got about 66 grams and Sunday I got just about 70. It is HARD to get the recommended amount!

Next week the class is focusing more on proper nutrition, but Rob and I won't be able to attend. His fraternity Founder's Day weekend is this weekend, so we'll be going to a dinner on Friday night. Sallie is sending us the lesson plan to do on our own.

Urine Overload!

Oh my goodness! How much urine can a one-pound little creature make?!? My bladder can only hold so much, and I don't feel like visiting the bathroom every hour.

During my first trimester, my trips to the bathroom increased. I was going every hour or two. I can completely understand that. 1) My body wasn't used to the extra production of urine and my kidneys were working overtime, 2)I started drinking more water, bringing a jug to work each day, so that I would get enough fluids for the baby, and 3)the baby was situated low in my body, so he was closer to my bladder.

The frequent bathroom trips slowed down to normal by the beginning of the second trimester. My body got used to it and the baby moved up to around my belly button and not so much on top of my bladder.

But all of a sudden, in the past two days, I have had to pee constantly! And when I go to the bathroom, it's not like there is just a few drops to come out. I feel like I'm sitting there for five minutes straight with pee coming out.

I am so over this pregnancy thing. What do I have...four months left still?? Sigh...

Chest Pains

I've had chest pains since I was a little girl. When I was growing up, they were excused as growing pains. In college, when I wasn't exactly growing anymore, and I still had them, my dad suggested I go see a cardiologist. So, when I lived in Raleigh after college, I did just that.

They told me that I have heart palpitations - an irregular heartbeat. Other than that I was perfectly healthy. They told me that if I got dizzy or passed out to come back and see them. They didn't proscribe any medicine or recommend anything additional.

The chest pains aren't constant. They occur maybe once every couple of months. They feel like someone is stabbing me right below my left breast (up and in) when I breathe in. If I'm not breathing, I can't feel them at all. They are never accompanied by any other "heart attack" symptoms. They usually last about 5-10 minutes, and then I won't have another for several months. It's almost like one of those cramps you would get in your side if you were not used to exercising and had just started a running program...except that it's about six inches higher in the chest area rather than in the stomach area.

There's not any specific thing that I'm doing at the time that they occur. That I can remember, they've never occurred during any kind of exercise or strenuous activity.

I don't know if it's because of my increase in blood supply or if it has no relation to my heart at all and it is just my ribs expanding with the relaxin hormone, but I've had the chest pains off and on for the past two days.

They're more annoying than anything else. They keep me from breathing normally, as I have to breathe shallow or press against my ribs while breathing to keep the pain down.

I'm not really worried about them. I've had them all my life. I've gone into the doctor way too many times due to the spotting issue I've had, so I don't plan on going for this. I just wish it would go away.

Feeling Baby Kicks

I've been feeling the baby move now for about three weeks. This week it's gotten a little more distinct. I can actually see my shirt moving when the baby kicks. He doesn't stick his fist or foot up to stay, but the little movements can be seen.

Rob still hasn't really felt it. When he tries to feel, he says it just feels like I have gas. If I can see the kicks, maybe this week he'll be able to feel it.

I've gotten to that awkward stage where my regular shirts are a little too short for me to wear, but my maternity shirts (even the XS ones) are a little too big. I'm wearing a maternity shirt to work today, and I feel like a cow because it makes me look so big. I really don't want my belly to get any bigger, because the stretch marks will start, but I don't like this in-between phase.