Shoplifter Pride! (Part one)

When I walk into stores I have this uncontrollable desire to take something that doesn't belong to me.  It's nice that other people pay for their items, but that just doesn't appeal to me.  It doesn't matter how attractive you think the sale price is, it isn't as appealing to me as hiding it in my pocket and walking out of the store without paying.

I can't help it.  I was born this way.  I was born with this desire to take what isn't mine.  I think I would know if I made a choice or not. I’m the shoplifter. You’re not. You don’t know. I never made a choice. I was literally born this way. You have no idea what it took for me to come out and admit how I am. I had a hard time coming out of the closet, because I tried too hard to change myself. I thought it was normal to pay for things at the store. But then realized there's no stopping it. I can’t even change myself. You can ask just about every shoplifter, and I know for a fact they’ll answer that it’s not a choice. Why would you argue against the ones that would actually know? That's like asking a dog what barking means, then saying they’re wrong.

God made me this way, and He doesn't make mistakes, does He?  If God is perfect, and He made people shoplifters, either God made a mistake or being a shoplifter is okay to God.  Since He made me this way, He must be okay with me shoplifting.

It's hard enough accepting who I really am without people criticizing me for things I have no control over.  People need to get over their fear of things that are different and start to learn to accept each other.  Isn't America about tolerance?  Well, it's time to demand tolerance for people like me too.  

This is a free country, and my shoplifting practices are my own business.  We don't need the government to tell us we can't live like this. It's time for the shoplifters and thieves to unite and demand equal rights.  We're people too.  We shouldn't have to hide this from others. Today I am starting a new SLRT community for shoplifters, robbers and thieves.  We deserve the same rights and tolerance as those who choose to pay for items.  

We should probably come up with some sort of symbol that we can wave proudly to let everyone know that we are shoplifters.  Maybe a dollar bill in the shape of a crescent or a broken rose or something.  We should also show our pride by organizing parades and march through the streets of major cities demanding tolerance and equal rights.

It's time to be proud of the sins we're committing and demanding that others change their views and accept us for who we are.