Waiting Family Dinners

The adoption agency we're working with, Bethany Christian Services, hosts "waiting family dinners" each quarter.  This is a time for parents who are in the adoption process to come together, meet each other and learn a little about an adoption topic.   The dinners are pot luck.  We eat dinner and socialize for the first 30 minutes to an hour, then the adoption agency presents a topic, and we break out into groups to discuss.

The first dinner of the year was in February, and we were so early in the process that I didn't really feel like we had been waiting long enough to go.  The second one of the year was held last Thursday night.  Since we are pretty much finished with our home study, I thought we might benefit from going.

There were five couples that attended.  From what they said, we were a smaller group than normal.  All of the other couples were domestic adoptions.  The couple that we sat with at dinner was in about the same position as we are.  They had just gotten their home study approved. 

Another couple was in the process of adopting their second child.  They had a 4-year-old adopted girl, and were waiting for their second.  They had been waiting for two years!  They had gotten matched twice over the past two years, but the birth mother backed out at the last minute both times.

The third couple was just beginning their second adoption.  They also had a 4-year-old, and were just starting the paperwork for their home study for their second.

The last couple had a sixteen-year-old and were in the process of adopting another.

The topic that was presented was "Open Adoptions."  This likely won't apply to us, since most international adoptions are from orphanages and are generally closed.  However, open adoptions are getting more and more popular in the USA.  An open adoption is when the adoptive parents know the birth mother and vice verse.  The birth mother may even want to be part of the child's life to some extent and have some level of contact with the adoptive family.  We went through a case study where we discussed scenarios through four stages of the adopted child's life and how to handle certain issues with open adoptions.

It was a very interesting and informative dinner.  I am very much looking forward to coming to the next one and learning more about other families' adoption experiences.